Have you ever finished a day feeling rotten? I mean most days, I would finish work feeling good. Tired but good & sometimes accomplished. But not today. I am ashamed of myself, to be honest.

I had a late lunch today in Maxwell. As I was heading back to my office, at the cross road junction I saw an hunched back old man. He looks like a rag-and-bone, collecting soda cans from the rubbish bin. And he looks a little mentally-challenged to me. He shuffled very slowly to the traffic light, carrying 2 large bags of empty cans.

I was waiting to cross to another side of the road. Because he shuffled so slowly, he missed his green man & had to wait for the next one. In that moment when I saw him, a voice inside my head said ‘help him, talk to him.’ But my feet didn’t move towards him. Instead, I turn to cross my side of the road.

During the walk back, I silently cursed myself. Why didn’t I help him? I wasn’t rushing for time. In fact, I had time to spare.

Then a thought struck me. I was embarrassed to be seen helping him. I started thinking of past encounters where I could have stepped in to help but didn’t and it was pretty consistent. I was embarrassed & I did not want to be the odd one standing out. I want to belong, to be popular, to be able to blend into the group.

This afternoon I saw ugly me and I’m not proud of me.

Lighter Moments

Troop of One Hundred

Conversation overheard on the MRT to work todayMot…

Conversation overheard on the MRT to work today

Mother 1: “My daughter has to audition for CCA (co-curricular activity) today. I told her to try everything & then she can pick & choose which my hubby & I is the best.”

Mother 2: “Oh, I don’t that. I told my daughter to audition for classical chinese music & choir. I hope she can be the next Sun Yen Tzi (Stephanie Sun).”

At this point, I hid behind my TODAY, biting my lip in hopes that I don’t laugh out loud.

I didn’t know students have to audition for CCAs these days. What is so great about CCAs anyway?

I remember I dreaded the ECA (that’s what it was called in the hey-days). I procrastinated until the deadline was up & got a warning & then proceeded sign up for a club with the least members which turned out to be the brass band. I had to lug my trumpet home. I became the butt of the family’s joke until I started playing the brass. I became the family’s pain-in-the-you-know-where.

And what happens to what the kids wanted? It sounded like the CCA is more the mothers than the kids. Those poor kids, living with the pressure to fulfil their mothers’ dreams!

My parents never harboured any dreams that I’ll be the next Jeremy Monteiro. Well, they crushed that hope after I blew my first note.

Which Superhero Are You?

Lean, mascular & feminine

Honest & a defender of the innocent

Saw this on M’s blog & decided to give it go. Hey, what have I got to lose?

F-u-n-n-y

Find out which superhero you are - click here.

I took a mini-break from work this afternoon & wen…

I took a mini-break from work this afternoon & went out to play with the kittens. The Auntie was there so we chatted briefly. She happily pointed to Tua Tao & said “He is yan-tau (handsome). So white now.” I smiled & nodded. She continued, “cod liver oil very good but very smelly.” I laughed. Yes, Tua Tao is handsome. Pity I did not have my camera with me.

I informed her that Vincent (pet transport guy) will collect Sesame next Monday evening for sterilization. He will return the boy on Thursday evening. She was nodded “good, good.”

She told me she saw a kitten (about a month old) outside the SGH last Saturday but it is no longer there. The kitten is a black & white with a crooked tail. “Very cute,” she said.

I explained to her there are a few possible scenarios. The kitten could have wandered off or rescued or … Anyway, I said if she does see the kitten again, please bring it here where it is safer.

As the sky turned turning grey, she looked wistfully at our makeshift shelter for the trio & said, “I worry. Don’t know if this is enough for them.” I can only reply, “This will have to do Auntie. This is best we can provide for them.”

We looked at each other, nodded & walked separately back to our offices.

In 2006, more than 12,000 civilians died in the I…

In 2006, more than 12,000 civilians died in the Iraq war. How many more will have to die before we can see that ‘an eye for an eye’ only kills more?

What the Buddha said is so true -

“Those who keep thinking ‘He abused me!” “He struck me!” “He oppressed me!” “He robbed me!” never still their hatred. But those who let go of such thoughts will. For in this world hatred is never still by more hatred. It is love that stills hatred. This is an eternal truth.”